The 1980s and Nineties were difficult times for the traditional family. While the nuclear family was the status quo before “The Sixties”, now we have “step families,” “single parent households,” “same sex couples,” and various variations of the above mentioned. The conjugal family still exists. It exists side by side with these other established family types.
Any can, and do procreate, adopt and/or foster children. A staggering divorce rate and serial monogamy create legions of step-brothers, step-sisters, step-parents, and even more ex-step-brothers, ex-step-sisters, ex-step-parents. These people have grown up children who have their own families. Kids from these defined family-types are all growing up besides one another. In another decade, they will be forming families and contributing to the family structure.
So the next time you hear someone whining about same sex marriage, ask them where their family fits in. Where do they draw the line?
Monday, September 21, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Let's consider a lunchtime informational picket
The CA Supreme Court will issue their ruling on Prop 8 this week. I hope they rule against. Domestic Partnership is second class citizenship. It’s wrong! Having no rights is better than second class citizenship!! It is poisonous because second class citizenship will satisfy some of
us...take them out of the fight. Having nothing will keep more of us engaged.
Two weeks after my last post the News-Review printed another one of those hate letters: homosexuality equals murder, rape and pedophilia. It was so lame, I didn’t bother responding. I would like to suggest that we consider a lunchtime informational picket line at the paper, if they continue to hide behind the First Amendment to fuel the fires of homo-hatred. If you are interested in participating in such an action, let me know. This is a good time to establish a protest committee. Email me at The Marriage Project.
Two weeks ago, the News-Review used the Truth of Youth segment to ask teens, “Does the ‘traditional’ family model still exist?” Like last months question about same sex marriage, the students got it right! “Antiquated,” “obsolete” and “impractical” are words the kids used to sum up traditional family values, values that worked for their great-grandparents.
I took this opportunity for a preemptive strike and wrote the following letter to the editor:
Today, a child can easily have four or more step- and ex-step-parents to contend with weekends with one family, week days with another, every-other-holiday here or there. It kind of takes the “sacred” out of the equation. AND, this has been going on for two generations now! How can we possibly expect this coming generation to appreciate traditional family values that have eroded so?
Today, the idea of a traditional family varies. Besides the chaos of divorce and remarriage, marriage has gone through numerous major changes over the past two hundred years and is nothing like the model that existed during Biblical times when women and children were little more than slaves.
Traditional marriage began changing dramatically when women won the right to own land and copy rights in the 1800s. It underwent another major change when women won the right to vote in 1920. It changed again when no-fault divorce became the norm in the 1950s. When the Supreme Count legalized interracial marriages, the realities changed yet again. The radical right fought all of these changes and lost. They will lose again with same-sex marriage.
Today, a family consists of two or more adults who make long-term commitments and live together. It may be a married couple living with their grand parents and/or other adult family members. If a family chooses to harbor children, they are expected to create a safe nest in which to raise those children. That’s a traditional 21st Century Family.
us...take them out of the fight. Having nothing will keep more of us engaged.
Two weeks after my last post the News-Review printed another one of those hate letters: homosexuality equals murder, rape and pedophilia. It was so lame, I didn’t bother responding. I would like to suggest that we consider a lunchtime informational picket line at the paper, if they continue to hide behind the First Amendment to fuel the fires of homo-hatred. If you are interested in participating in such an action, let me know. This is a good time to establish a protest committee. Email me at The Marriage Project.
Two weeks ago, the News-Review used the Truth of Youth segment to ask teens, “Does the ‘traditional’ family model still exist?” Like last months question about same sex marriage, the students got it right! “Antiquated,” “obsolete” and “impractical” are words the kids used to sum up traditional family values, values that worked for their great-grandparents.
I took this opportunity for a preemptive strike and wrote the following letter to the editor:
Today, a child can easily have four or more step- and ex-step-parents to contend with weekends with one family, week days with another, every-other-holiday here or there. It kind of takes the “sacred” out of the equation. AND, this has been going on for two generations now! How can we possibly expect this coming generation to appreciate traditional family values that have eroded so?
Today, the idea of a traditional family varies. Besides the chaos of divorce and remarriage, marriage has gone through numerous major changes over the past two hundred years and is nothing like the model that existed during Biblical times when women and children were little more than slaves.
Traditional marriage began changing dramatically when women won the right to own land and copy rights in the 1800s. It underwent another major change when women won the right to vote in 1920. It changed again when no-fault divorce became the norm in the 1950s. When the Supreme Count legalized interracial marriages, the realities changed yet again. The radical right fought all of these changes and lost. They will lose again with same-sex marriage.
Today, a family consists of two or more adults who make long-term commitments and live together. It may be a married couple living with their grand parents and/or other adult family members. If a family chooses to harbor children, they are expected to create a safe nest in which to raise those children. That’s a traditional 21st Century Family.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Channeling Trotsky
Same sex marriage will be homophobia’s Waterloo. While it only took von Blücher and Wellington three days to defeat Napoleon, homophobia’s last stand will go on well into the next decade. Those of us residing in the countryside may not be a part of the frontline action; however, we have work to do in our rural communities.
Every time homophobia rears its ugly head, we have to be there to challenge the myths, to unite and to educate about the realities of marriage. Marriage is more than a sacred rite. It’s a civil contract between two adults and the state. There’s too much emphasis on the former and way too little on the latter. We need to take the lead on bringing the two into perspective.
I thank those of you who took the time to contact the News-Review editor and lodge your complaint about the vicious stereotyping mentioned in my earlier posts. It was blatantly dishonest, and the editor had to account for her actions. The homophobe who wrote the letter-to-the-editor stereotyping us is an incidental evil. It affords the opportunity to bring homophobia onto the front burner.
The California Supreme Court is going to rule on Prop 8 sometime in June. Whichever way it goes, both sides are going to ratchet up the stakes. Let’s be more than collateral damage and cannon fodder. We can make a difference! Let’s get to work!! Let’s be part of history!!!
Here are some roles that need to be filled. I’m sure there are others I haven’t thought of. Step up to the plate!
Good Cops: People who are in position to advocate from within the system and/or are willing to influence community leaders.
Bad Cops: People who are comfortable with conflict. Bad cops have to be able to see the opportunity in conflict and seize upon it.
Techies: People who display a great, sometimes obsessive, interest in technology, high-tech devices and particularly the Internet.
Legal: Most marriages will require a prenuptial agreement.
Role Models: People knowledgeable about the intricacies of marriage that would mentor and educate.
Grunts: People willing to roll up their sleeves and pitch in when needed.
Supporters: People willing to write letters, participate in picket lines and demonstrations.
Organizers: People willing to develop a process where we can come together to plan and coordinate.
Archivists: Our work has to be documented.
Let’s start a dialog. Even if you just want to tell me I’m crazy, I’d like to discuss it.
Sign up! Email me with your thoughts at The Marriage Project .
Every time homophobia rears its ugly head, we have to be there to challenge the myths, to unite and to educate about the realities of marriage. Marriage is more than a sacred rite. It’s a civil contract between two adults and the state. There’s too much emphasis on the former and way too little on the latter. We need to take the lead on bringing the two into perspective.
I thank those of you who took the time to contact the News-Review editor and lodge your complaint about the vicious stereotyping mentioned in my earlier posts. It was blatantly dishonest, and the editor had to account for her actions. The homophobe who wrote the letter-to-the-editor stereotyping us is an incidental evil. It affords the opportunity to bring homophobia onto the front burner.
The California Supreme Court is going to rule on Prop 8 sometime in June. Whichever way it goes, both sides are going to ratchet up the stakes. Let’s be more than collateral damage and cannon fodder. We can make a difference! Let’s get to work!! Let’s be part of history!!!
Here are some roles that need to be filled. I’m sure there are others I haven’t thought of. Step up to the plate!
Good Cops: People who are in position to advocate from within the system and/or are willing to influence community leaders.
Bad Cops: People who are comfortable with conflict. Bad cops have to be able to see the opportunity in conflict and seize upon it.
Techies: People who display a great, sometimes obsessive, interest in technology, high-tech devices and particularly the Internet.
Legal: Most marriages will require a prenuptial agreement.
Role Models: People knowledgeable about the intricacies of marriage that would mentor and educate.
Grunts: People willing to roll up their sleeves and pitch in when needed.
Supporters: People willing to write letters, participate in picket lines and demonstrations.
Organizers: People willing to develop a process where we can come together to plan and coordinate.
Archivists: Our work has to be documented.
Let’s start a dialog. Even if you just want to tell me I’m crazy, I’d like to discuss it.
Sign up! Email me with your thoughts at The Marriage Project .
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Double Standards = 2nd Class Citizenship
While rural homosexuals have little say in these statewide and national processes, we’re often first to feel the repercussions. I contacted the editor of the News-Review and complained that this kind of dishonesty is in poor taste and is in direct violation of the paper's policy not to print letters that are in poor taste. She retreated behind “free speech ,“ and in doing so reinforced the double standards that makes homosexuals second class citizens. The leadership in this community has a history of lowering its standards to accommodate intolerance. It’s time to put a stop to it!
Friday, March 20, 2009
Fighting Homo-Hatred
With the economy the way it is, the worst of the bigoted pastors will use same-sex marriage to stir up homophobia in an effort to increase tithing. It’s already starting here in Roseburg, Oregon. In a youth column run weekly in our daily paper, the News-Review, youth were asked to comment on same sex marriage. The high school age children more or less agreed that it’s inevitable. It’s no big deal.
Recent letters to the editor by people threatened by the prudent words of these youth only serve to stir up homo-hatred. Bigoted church leaders in our community are exploiting the situation by trying to recreate the atmosphere of hate that existed here during the early 1990s when the defunct Oregon Citizens Alliance raised millions by attacking their gay neighbors. These unscrupulous pastors know they can’t stem the tide of social change. Their intention is to exploit fear and reap the profits that hate ministry brought in the past.
The editors of the News-Review are implicated. The sloppy title to a recent letter decrying same-sex marriage, “Homosexuality is not natural” promotes the common myth. Same sex relations have been observed in every species from the bedbug to the blue whale. What is unnatural is the obsession some people have with homosexuality. At least the title was consistent with the many inaccuracies of the letter itself.
Please contact the editor listed below and ask her to stop printing letters that stoop to these hate tactics. The paper’s policy clearly states that they will not print letters that are in poor taste. Dishonesty is in poor taste. Help make this a more responsible publication.
Vicki Menard, Editor
Recent letters to the editor by people threatened by the prudent words of these youth only serve to stir up homo-hatred. Bigoted church leaders in our community are exploiting the situation by trying to recreate the atmosphere of hate that existed here during the early 1990s when the defunct Oregon Citizens Alliance raised millions by attacking their gay neighbors. These unscrupulous pastors know they can’t stem the tide of social change. Their intention is to exploit fear and reap the profits that hate ministry brought in the past.
The editors of the News-Review are implicated. The sloppy title to a recent letter decrying same-sex marriage, “Homosexuality is not natural” promotes the common myth. Same sex relations have been observed in every species from the bedbug to the blue whale. What is unnatural is the obsession some people have with homosexuality. At least the title was consistent with the many inaccuracies of the letter itself.
Please contact the editor listed below and ask her to stop printing letters that stoop to these hate tactics. The paper’s policy clearly states that they will not print letters that are in poor taste. Dishonesty is in poor taste. Help make this a more responsible publication.
Vicki Menard, Editor
Phone Number: 541-957-4203
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